The last few weeks have been weeks of the cross road type. To a large extent I have been walking them by myself.

They have been the weeks where one has to make instant decisions that affect and effect not only my life but hundreds of other peoples. (No I don’t think of myself that highly it is just the type of work I am in). In doing so I have been under a bucket load of stress and have come to a few conclusions about the current situation I am in.

Sometimes I believe that we don’t realise the reality of our situations until they start to break or we sense that the ‘world’ we live in is not all that we or others make it out to be.

Take for example the ‘Christian community’ mirage. In the last few weeks I have found much more of a sense of a community in my workplace with my work mates than I have with many of my church friends over the last few months. I put this down to the fact that we have a common goal, we have common challenges (in our work – which is actually a vocation) and that my workmates are some of the most diverse people you will meet who because of this are accepting and willing to listen to people.

Secondly I am in the middle of a push and pull and general congitive dissonance stage with teaching and am probably going to retrain next year to become a Montessori teacher. *Be prepared big statement up coming* When I first went into teaching I think I liked it because of the attention I got, but now as I see what education is and what it can do I realise that the teacher dominated classroom is not the ideal and there is much more to education than the system that I have been bought up in (even though it has taught me much). This has been a point that I have reached over the last year after watching and observing students in a variety of educational settings and while the fact that I probably have to leave here to retrain means leaving a whole lot of things I love I know that if I teach in a Montessori setting or way it will sit better with me.

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